Toilet Melodies

So nothing excited me today, nothing caught my eye, nothing has jumped out at me to blog about today so I have opened up my trusty Brown notebook that I jot down ideas about potential blogposts and selected one from my backlog of backups.

In case you are looking for some deep profound wisdom in my blog today, I would try again tomorrow, I can’t write ‘Dave George Gold’ everyday, in fact this is possible my low point to date.

About a month ago when I was rehearsing for the show I was playing in (which is now thankfully done and I’m sleep better hours now thanks for asking).  I got to my destination about a hour early so I thought I would do some reading in a park.  I also needed to drop into the toilet as it was a long drive and the 3 cups of coffee I had consumed on the way were ready to move on so I dropped in at one of those park toilets that are automated, anyway, I closed the door and a few seconds later almost pooed my pants (at least there would have been some toilet paper handy) when the toilet started singing to me, not in a hallucinogenic way but the stereo kicked in. I honestly spun around looking for the other person I had in advertantly walked in on.  It wasn’t cd quality, it really sounded like some homeless man singing in the toilet with me.

I heard ‘What the world needs now, is Love, Sweet Love’ and I my heart sank, I thought that I was either going to fight off some bathroom defiler as I quickly tried to rezip my pants at at best get a hugged from behind while I’m doing my business.

1. Who sings a song about sweet love in a bathroom

2. At least make it cd quality or some background band so that it isn’t just one voice from behind you.

3. Maybe make it modern, If I’m going to freak out about someone else in the toilet I at least want them to be sing ‘Sexy and I know it’ by LAFMO.

4. I am already scared of public toilets in the western suburbs, don’t freak me out, play something classical or Jazz like every other toilet, but definitely no voices.

Just a Thought


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